How a Waterfall Ruined My Business
Dear Mr Campbell
My name is Philippe Luis Antonio and I am writing to you in the hope that I can provide you information that will prevent you from falling into the same predicament I recently found myself.
Approximately 18 months ago, I discovered the home-based internet business and realised that the 9-5 grind had to go. Paid to read emails seemed to be the way to go and, although the income was meagre, by moving out of my apartment and into a phone booth, and rejecting such non-essentials as toothpaste and deodorant, I realised the dream that eludes so many within the industry.
Most of my income went into my retirement fund, but every few weeks I had enough left over to order a kebab from the local take-away. It’s a free phone number to call and I always got a discount if I ordered it without salad.
The future was bright.
Then something changed. I discovered an ezine called, “Inspiration for the Nation”. This bi-daily ezine taught me to be more ambitious, to realise my own potential lay beyond reading emails for cash. The possibility of being able to order a deep-pan pizza WITH salad made me feel dizzy. Although that may have been dehydration. It hadn’t rained for some time so my water stores were quite low.
Incredibly, the owner of this ezine (known only as 20.08.65.48) offered this resource without charge. The only cost to me was receiving three “advertorials” a day with the latest special offers. Since I couldn’t afford any of these offers anyway, it didn’t seem too much to ask.
Then something went wrong.
As the inspirational articles and poems filled me with confidence and hedonistic dreams, I became dependant on these emails to keep me functioning. On the odd occasion when an email was missed, I became depressed and couldn’t work. Worse still, the content of these emails started to repeat.
Desperate, I began to look for other ezines that offered similar content. It turned out there were hundreds of them. I happily subscribed to them all and cried with relief when slice after slice of electronic stimulation filled my Inbox.
Day after day I gorged myself on sunsets and fluffy animals. Powerful quotes from men and women I have never heard of. And the realisation that I could be anything I wanted to be if I could only be absolutely sure what I wanted to be. I had never felt so good about the universe.
The trouble was, I wasn’t being paid to read these emails. My income was dipping and I hadn’t eaten for over a month.
The last straw was when one of my “paid-to-read” accounts was cancelled due to inactivity. Something had to be done.
I decided to take action and follow the advice of Barry NeWorld and his motivational article, “Go Chase Waterfalls”. I left the phone booth and began making my way out of the housing estate.
Heading off the beaten track, the built up streets gave way to trees, fields and poorly kept, muddy roads. I came upon a forest and wandered through it, all the time taking deep breaths of clean, country air. My mind filled with the possibilities that lay before me. After two days of walking, I came to my intended destination. A waterfall.
The waterfall was a little on the small side, so I spent half a day damming it up until the water made a satisfying splashing noise as it cascaded over the rocks. I sat by the waterfall and gazed into it’s depths.
According to Barry, here is where I would find my revelation. Here is where inspiration would gift me the idea to make my fortune. I stared and I waited.
After two days it happened. A cold chill swept through my body. The splash of the waterfall turned into a roar. The waterfall grew in size until it engulfed me and washed my body downstream.
I was woken from my sleep by Norman, the man who cleans the phone booth with his high-powered jet wash. In the past he had kindly agreed to wash the booth with me inside, thereby affording me a little cleanliness. Unfortunately, while indulging my waterfall fantasies, I hadn’t noticed his approach and had failed to cover over my laptop.
As he blasted the inside of the booth with a stream of water, my source of income was literally washed away. Hence I became the first person able to make the claim that a waterfall ruined my business.
Fortunately, my insurance paid up and after purchasing a second-hand laptop from EBay, there was enough left over to order the, long sought after, deep-pan pizza WITH salad.
My income is now back on track and, at the present rate, I will have saved enough to retire by the time I reach the age of 65.
What I learned from the experience, Mr Campbell, is that web marketing is about selling. Selling products, selling membership or selling advertising space.
Selling advertising space is the easiest as all you need is an ezine or website with some content. As content can be copied, borrowed or just plain rubbish, this is the simplest way to make money on the internet.
So I’ve made a new rule. If an ezine doesn’t give me or teach me something worthwhile at least ONCE every three issues, I unsubscribe. If a website isn’t benefiting my business, I erase the bookmark.
I’ve wasted too much time that could have been spent on pursuits that directly benefit my business. Now I’m reading emails for cash 18 hours a day and my income has never been stronger.
I offer this information to you with no hidden motives or agenda. Simply a wish to save you from the same catastrophe that befell me.
May your business prosper and your emails generate cash.
Philippe Luis Antonio
PS – Jork Joymar is retiring and selling off the marketing equipment that made him rich. You can get his highlighter pen, a coffee-stained mouse mat and a Newton’s Cradle (no balls) for just $19.99. Hurry! At the last check there were only 1500 packages left.
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This article first appeared in The Nettle Ezine.
If you enjoyed it, why not try The Nettle Magazine at www.thenettle.com
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